I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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