I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
