My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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