If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
