Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
