they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
