the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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