Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
