all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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