You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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