I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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