So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize