I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize