So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
