ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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