so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
