dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
