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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  If you're joking I'm going to be sad

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party

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• (972): View more from Texas

  They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Found the cure to anxiety attacks.

  (425): View more from Washington

  An orgasm

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• (310): View more from California

  Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?

  (951): View more from California

  You told me to go grocery shopping.

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• (408): View more from California

  I can't trust your balls anymore.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night

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• (253): View more from Washington

  What type of bandaid should I use on my clit

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.

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