Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
