I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
