i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
