Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
