hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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