last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
