My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
