eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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