i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize