I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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