Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
