you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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