Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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