I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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