I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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