If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
