dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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