how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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