Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
