i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize