sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
