you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i barfeds in our rink
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
