I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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