Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
