I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize