It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
