toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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