If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i drank out of a bidet.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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