I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
