Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
