Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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