I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
