yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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