idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
