I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
