She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
