she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
