You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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